2005-07-08

A request for The Reluctant Jam Boy:

I recently played at a course where the Senior Tour plays each year and thought that I might get a chance to walk with a caddie but no joy. The only time that I did have the pleasure of golfing with a caddie was in Thailand but the caddie didn't speak english at all (the highlight of that round was when my drive stopped right on top of the 150 yard marker and I made a big deal about asking what my yardage was; after a long hand signal discussion, the caddy yells something in Thai to another caddie, who yells something to another caddie in Thai, etc. and then it finally returns through the same long chain in reverse that I was "about 150" - I looked up at that caddie like the quizzical dog and all in the group laughed (a foursome in Thailand is like a party of ten or twelve - hey, don't take that out of context mediaguru)).

Anyway, Tommy, I thought it would be cool if you could pound out on your keyboard a list of things golfers could do to give props to the caddies - you know, so that us normal golfers could be considered the "Mr. Nice Guy" to a caddie instead of the "Mr. ____"'s. Can you give us a list? Based loosly on some of your posts, here is my list to make the sure the caddie dosen't hate me:

Top Ten "golfer to caddie" etiquette rules:

#10. As the golfer, never follow your own footprints after hitting out of a bunker - and try to climb the very steepest part out of those traps if possible.

#9. When talking off topic with others in your foursome, force the caddie to ACT INTERESTED by giving him a serious nod as often as possible.

#8. Don't you dare tell the caddie master or anyone of influence at the club something complimentary about the caddie after the round - no matter how good the caddie was. The club already knows this.

#7. When you order food or drinks during the round - remember that caddies do not eat or get thirsty on the job's routine - if they did they would've carried something themselves (that is what that bib is for).

#6. Instead of saying "I suck ass at putting, any green reading help you give me may or may not even help" say as sternly as you can sometime before the first tee "are YOU any good at reading these greens?"

#5. Stay away from breaking the caddie off a little somethin sometin out of your pipe when at the halfway house - remember, caddies are old school tradition.

#4. Quote as often as possible from either Caddy shack movie because those are not played out / old and busted yet among mostcaddies.

#3. If people biatch at you and give you orders all day long for a living, a caddie is now your chance to unleash that inferiority complex. Be in total control.

#2. Get your caddie's name right. If you're wrong though, stick with that name the entire round no matter what - the caddie may end up being a writer and be forced use that name as a pseudonym the rest of his life on a blog..

And the number one thing you can do to be cool to your caddie:

#1. Tip 20 bucks more than the member tells you is the norm?

Seriously though JB, it would make a good post if you could tell us mere mortals some of the things that make a typical caddie's day better (besides reversing most of the above)..

The comments are now working again - sorry if you tried to comment earlier today - they were lost..

*** COMMENTS CLOSED ***